Less stress? Get ready together.
If you’re currently in the throes of planning a wedding it’s likely that you’ve heard the age-old adage “The day will go so quickly!” Speaking from firsthand experience it wasn’t long until we were all on the dancefloor at 11 pm begging the DJ for just one more song. Whilst it’s widely accepted that time does indeed fly on a wedding day, it’s still commonplace to spend roughly half of the day apart from the person you’re promising the rest of your life and love to. Weddings are steeped in tradition, and it’s worth examining which ones hold value for you. Traditions aren’t inherently bad, but figuring out which ones work for you and your partner is key. Getting ready together on the morning of your wedding day breaks with tradition but is one of the easiest ways to maximize your quality time together. There are compelling financial, logistical, and emotional reasons to consider this as well. As a wedding photographer in Melbourne, it’s worth mentioning that traffic can also play a role!
Heather and Cooper took things a step further; got ready together and secretly get legally married in the morning before the whole shebang kicked off.
They got ready in a huge house with all of their wedding party and family. They also did the ceremony + reception there. Great way to reduce stress.
The most commonly held argument against getting ready together is that it could make the big reveal at the ceremony or first look feel a little bit lacklustre. This really couldn’t be further from the truth, there are many ways that you can organise the morning to guarantee the same degree of intense butterflies when you see your partner. Emotions are running particularly high on a wedding day, there’s not much anyone can do that will quell that beautiful feeling when you see your partner looking their absolute greatest, seeing them beforehand will not take anything away from this. Some couples opt to help each other get dressed and document the moment together, while others who still want the dramatics of a big reveal at the ceremony can opt to separate into different rooms when ready to finally get dressed, this way you can travel to the ceremony venue separately and still get the intensity of that moment. My wife and I went for the second option, and I’m so thankful. Despite being a wedding photographer for the past ten years emotions were running high in the morning and I was filled with nervous, excited tingly tension. It was fantastic to be able to hug and dance with my partner in the morning and take turns calming each other's nervous energy with reassurance and love.
Elle + Lou rented out one stunning air b'n'b in Fitzroy. Not needing to get two meant they could find something better.
There’s a cost and logistical benefit here as well. Often, you may need to consider hiring a short-term rental/hotel for the wedding and surrounding days. This might be due to location or even just having enough space (or a photogenic space) for everyone to easily get ready at in the morning. If you choose to get ready together, this means only splurging on one space. It’s also only one place to organise transport, flowers, hair and makeup and photographer/videographer teams to attend. As a wedding photographer, if you’re wanting the getting ready stage of the day covered I generally advise 1 hour per person. If you’re getting ready together we can really do that all together in just 1.5 hours (or under depending on circumstances), saving more coverage time for the dancefloor or even just cutting down on the package you need to get. Most photographers work with hours starting when they reach the first location, this means that any travel time during the day can end up being quite costly to you. Travelling between the two getting-ready locations and the ceremony can add up really quickly. It can also lead to some really sweet authentic moments captured in the morning together.
Leah and Eric got ready and fully dressed together, helping each other do up their buttons. It doesn't make seeing your lover on your wedding day any less special.
Whilst this departure from tradition may not be for everyone, getting ready together on the morning of can help remove stress, cost and maximise your time spent together on the day. It can also give you some time to decide on some ultra last-minute dance moves if you’re anything like my wife and I (who had not practised anything for our first dance.) Ultimately your goal should be to remove as much unnecessary stress as possible in the morning and gear up for a really fantastic big day.
Interested? Here are two options
Option one
Do the full thing together. Help each other into your outfits, pop on each other’s shoes and lovingly soothe each other’s stressors. You can also have your wedding party (if you’re having one) and family staying with you as well. This is a fabulous option (and the most logistically easy one too) if the idea of the ‘big reveal’ doesn’t hold any weight for you. Sometimes on a wedding day we overcomplicate things to try to make them feel special. But there’s nothing more special than seeing your lover look all fantastic in their wedding garb, and timing and circumstances won’t affect that much.
Option two
Still love the idea of a big reveal down the aisle (or even a first look?) it’s still possible. Decide together on the ‘point of no return’ for some people it might be once hair any makeup starts, but for most it would be when you get into your outfits. At that point separate from each other (with a goodbye kiss) and wait for each other to leave separately. This will mean that you do need to have a few anxious moments apart and it is slightly more difficult to manage logistically, but it can be a way to have your cake and eat it too. Suggestion: Walkie talkies.
Need more advice? I’m more than happy to talk to you about your plans for the morning of.
